Revelations...emergency surgery...time to reflect...changes...
Sometimes I have so many things to say, they get bottled up inside and I can't exactly figure out how to get them out. Today so many things have bubbled up to share. April has brought much...revelations...surprises...time to think...the need for changes. All with the highs and lows these things bring.
It started with reaching out to two healers in my life to get to the bottom of my own fear of becoming successful. Yes, I have fear and can acknowledge how it effects my life. I booked an audio recording with one of my teachers and planned a mini session with a colleague at the yoga show. I suddenly had a deep desire to understand where this fear comes from. No sooner did I do this, I found myself in hospital having an emergency appendectomy. Hello Universe!!! I don't have time to have surgery and be laid up...not that you are listening! I know. I know...it's all part of your plan!
I can look back at this moment and understand what was happening. What lessons were being played out for those involved. I could see my need for quiet and rest. I understand how important it is to honour my time for healing. I joke in saying I was so well behaved, but I really was. Normally as a single mom I would be up and back at it, out of need. But this time around I had someone to care for me. Someone to say sit back down, I've got that. Stubborn me remembers not to pick up the laundry basket or go to Costco by myself (why does everything have to be so heavy there), which has not been easy. I have learned to rely on others this month and to listen to my bodies need for deep healing.
This month has also allowed be to just be. Be in the moment. Completely present. I have watched life happen around me and I have taken to time to think about what is right for me in this moment. Right now, I know the best thing I can do to honour us both is to do monthly videos for you. But don't worry... there will be little surprises that pop throughout the month like a card of the day or a weekly reading or a mini reading. Maybe even a few little helpful videos along the way. I need to be free to express myself when I feel the calling, instead of being restricted by deadlines.
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